The day began with a very rude awakening by my husband at 6:30am... We had a tour pickup at our hotel scheduled for 8am, and we had to be showered and breakfasted before then. Why our tour company insisted on picking us up at 8am we'll never know, because we stood around for over an hour after the quick 10 minute journey to the depot...
It was there that we saw the first sign that perhaps we should have picked a different tour company... The driver was so bad, he had busted his rear tyre with a fist-sized hole on the side wall simply with his reverse parallel parking... As we stood there and observed his second run, still with the busted tyre, we witnessed him bending the rim when he again misjudged his reversing with the next load of passengers...
We were finally herded onto our bus, where we spent the next hour weaving perilously in and out of traffic on our way to the first of our two castles.
Jason relaxed and read his book... While Jodie gripped the handles in front of her seat in fear!!
We arrived at Castle Konopiste, where we were dropped off near a skungy pond at the base of a hill, and then directed to walk up to the castle. Bearing in mind that there was a road that went right to the entrance, this was a bit annoying for us - but it was also quite painful for two of the couples in our group, with one lady who had hip problems and a man with a plate in his leg who moved with quite a level of difficulty...
As we rounded the bend, the castle was revealed to us!
Once inside, we stood around in the courtyard for roughly 45 minutes waiting for another tour guide to unlock the doors and give us access to the interior of the castle. Finally, he arrived - and we stood around for another few minutes while our guide and this new guide argued over tickets and language guides for the two Italians in our group...
After they provided a couple of bits of paper to the Italians, we proceeded on the (was it really?)English Tour... We weren't told this, but our tour was only a partial one. We were first taken through the hunting trophy hall, which - for those of you who are animal lovers - is filled with mounted animal heads, feathers, teeth, skins etc. of just some of the 300,000 creatures that former resident Franz Ferdinand killed during his time at the Castle... We think it is safe to say, there is most likely nothing left living in the forests surrounding the castle! Franz Ferdinand was later assassinated, perhaps the RSPCA got wind of his rather morbid collection...
Onwards through the Castle, and we were taken through room after room of mouldy wallpaper, large chandeliers and old furniture. Our guide was very good at brands - that of the furniture and porcelain - but there wasn't much else we could decipher from his heavily accented commentary. What we did discover, however, was that we were not going to see any of the upstairs or left wing of the Castle - which is where all of the interesting stuff was! All of the original gothic architecture, weaponry, armoury, shooting range, and basically anything that wasn't heavily influenced by the Baroque period... He suggested that we might like to come back and pay for another tour... Jodie thought of a few choice suggestions for him, but was too polite to say...
We were not allowed to take any photographs at all. When we reached a balcony, the guide was kind enough to advise us that here, we could use our cameras to take a picture of the surrounding landscape! It was very pretty, and perhaps on this side of the castle at least, the best views really were free...
After our rapid walkthrough, we stood around in the courtyard again for another 30 minutes before we returned down the hill to our bus. It was at this stage where it has to be pointed out, that there would have been plenty of time to do the complete tour of the Castle had it been properly organised. We would have preferred this to all of the standing around we had to do!! Our bus tour guide gave very vague instructions and directions, he seemed to spend more time talking to himself (and yes, I mean literally talking to himself!) than advising us where we should actually meet and when to continue the tour!
Next up on our trip, or so we thought, was lunch followed by the second Castle tour... Sadly, this was not to be for at least another couple of hours! After a mad rush along the motorway at 40km above the posted speed limits, we (surprise, surprise) broke down... and spent the next hour standing around outside our bus with no explanation about what the f#$% was going on... No food, no drinks, no toilets, no apologies...! Eventually, another bus arrived - driven by the bloke who busted the tyre during our transfer that morning - and we were ushered on board and continued our journey for another 30 minutes.
Jodie was about to throttle said driver by the time we arrived. He drove like an absolute idiot on the narrow winding roads, and twice we narrowly avoided collisions with oncoming traffic and once with a truck... It was reminiscent of driving in China!
As a third wave of nausea threatened Jodie, we finally arrived at our destination. Here, we had a very late lunch that admittedly was delicious - the beer was good, though we had to pay for beverages ourselves, and the toilets thankfully were free! We finished our meals, sat around for another half hour while the driver (!) and tour guide filled up on beers, and then walked up the road instead of getting on the bus...
15 minutes later, we saw the castle!
Those less able-bodied members of our group became concerned when they saw the ladder going up the wall... Have to admit, at this point nothing would have surprised us!!
As it turned out, the ladder probably would have been easier than the steep incline up the mountain that we endured for 30 minutes. We emerged panting and sweating, some of us with nettle barbs in our arms from the plants along the path... The man with the plate in his leg and the lady with the dodgy hip were both in a lot of pain, but that was nothing compared to the looks on their faces when we realised that the road came all the way up to the gate!
It is at this stage, that we would like to point out those members of our group had asked the tour company - Premiant City Tours - if there was much walking, and they were advised that no, there wasn't.... This had been after their city tour the day before - where they were dropped off at the top of the largest hill in Prague, guided for 3 and a half hours on foot back to the city centre, and then left to find their own way back to their hotels... Same tour company!! We strongly advise against using Premiant City Tours - unless, of course, you really enjoy confusion, dodgy little tour buses with even dodgier drivers, long (mainly uphill) walks, and even longer waits in between any of these occurrences!
Anyways...
Once we arrived at the Karlstejn Castle, we (surprise, surprise) stood around for another 45 minutes without being told by our guide what was happening. We entertained ourselves, by taking photos and speculating as to when we would actually go into the castle...
The main door to the castle was fairly impressive!
It appears to have withstood a few decent knocks from axes, arrows and battering rams...
Jason standing in front of one of the towers - he had a lot of practice at this throughout the day, as you can see he is getting quite good at standing around!
The view down the mountain was quite lovely...
Eventually, we were collected - along with every other poor bastard in the courtyard - and marched up some steep steps to the first tower.
This is the building where our guided tour of the castle began - you can see the stairs we went up in the bottom right hand corner!
We had a short little blonde tour guide, with a very big voice - which was a good thing, because there were several Italian men in the large group (not from ours, thankfully) who would not shut up! This was probably because no translators were allowed, the tour was only in English, and she had a very bad accent that was difficult for English-speaking people to comprehend...
Anyone naughty enough to take a photo was promptly reprimanded by the little Castle Nazi, and each time we left a room the door was locked behind us with a large skeleton key... So if you're claustrophobic or like to have a handy escape route for whatever reason, perhaps this particular castle is not for you...
The history of the castle itself was fascinating, and the rooms we were able to view were interesting - although we didn't get to see the most interesting and well preserved sections of the castle... Apparently, this was due to the "weather" (which was warm and clear!) - but in any case, it was very interesting and worthwhile even just to look at (which is just as well, because in such large groups with confused Italians and screaming children, you don't get to hear much...)
Upon exiting the castle, Jason was rapt to discover he could cross over his own little drawbridge!
We took one last photo of the castle, before heading back down our steep mountain path to where the tour bus was parked - cracking jokes along the way that perhaps our bus might not be there when we arrive... Upon our arrival - lo! and behold! There was a Premiant City Tours bus parked in the lot, and half our our group climbed on board... Only to find out that it was not our bus, so we kept walking - some members of our group asked our guide where our bus was, but he just grunted and started talking to himself in Czech again... We are convinced he either had some form of mental disorder, or did not speak any English aside from the formal tour dialogue when on the bus, and this muttering was him rehearsing...
Eventually, we came to our bus - complete with the crazy bus driver from before, probably loaded up with a few more beers to "improve" his driving... And before we knew it we were barreling along the road again back to Prague.
Once we arrived in Prague, we were unceremoniously dumped at the tour depot, and not returned to our hotels (from where we had been collected!) with just a brusque goodbye. Still without an apology for any of the myriad stuff ups - and 10 hours after the ordeal began - we found ourselves walking the half hour trip back to our hotel, thinking over the collective worthwhile 2 hours of our day where we actually saw some of the castles... We were both exhausted by the time we arrived back at the Hotel Ametyst (which, by the way, is proving to be a fantastic hotel and one of the best features of Prague!)
Lesson Of The Day: to all visitors to Prague, our advice would be - do not book a tour with Premiant City Tours!
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